Friday, September 4, 2009

Week 3 Jul 17, 2009

I lost the doughnut hole battle today. That little clear plastic box of fried glazed dough sat there- taunting me with their buttery smell. I remained strong for over an hour- wielding my self-control sword and silently trash-talking the holes. I tried to calculate the calories, but honestly had no idea how many hours I would have to work out to justify one little hole.

As the meeting went late and our fearless leader kept droning on, assigning action items to anyone who made eye contact, I was searching the room. I noticed how absently my coworkers were popping these nuggets into their mouths. I was officially obsessed- I needed a hole and I needed one now. As I reached for the box my coworker said “See, one won’t kill you”. That was all the justification I needed. As I chewed the little balls of grease (5 total), I was so disappointed in myself. Almost as abruptly as I consumed those calories, the meeting ended. I was so close to winning the temptation battle.

I confessed my doughnut sin today to Mark, my fill-in fitness guru while Mike is on vacation. He told me not to beat myself up. To let go of the hole, and move on. My penance was 45 min on the elliptical machine. Mark told me that if I felt that strong about the doughnut hole, I should have just eaten one and enjoyed it. That depriving myself and not fulfilling the craving sensibly, would cause me to overindulge. So- note to self- I eat 5 times the amount of food when I finally indulge a craving.

I weighed in today and lost three pounds this week, bringing my total to 8lbs. I am very proud of what I am doing. I looked in the mirror this morning and actually saw small muscle lines in my upper arms. My arms are still considerably bigger than the body builders on the floor of the gym, but they are getting smaller every day. I used to take a deep breath before climbing the stairs to the cardio machines- getting winded near the top, now I can easily jog up them. That’s after 3 weeks! Imagine what I will be able to do after three months? I have already increased the amount of weight I am lifting on the KOKO machine and am averaging about 2500 pounds in a half hour session. KOKO is computerized and gives you a readout at the end of each session. My life is changing and I welcome this change of life!

Starting weight: 242 pounds
Previous weight: 237 pounds
Current weight: 234 pounds
Current Weight Loss: 3 pounds
Total weight loss: 8 pounds

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