Friday, September 4, 2009

Week 10 Sept 4th, 2009

The picture you see posted was taken at my heaviest weight of 254 pounds. I remember the shock when I saw myself full-size on my computer monitor when we got home from vacation. I couldn’t believe that was me. I couldn’t believe how many chins I had, that my stomach stuck out farther than my breasts, and I couldn’t believe I let my emotional eating and food addiction turn me into something I didn’t recognize! Those pictures were taken one year ago, in August 2008. I remember reviewing those pictures while eating a plate of nachos. I was horrified, but still kept shoveling…and ignoring… and hiding. I wasn’t ready to confront the food addiction. My Ah-Ha moment came while in the car waiting for my husband to run into Safeway. I was playing the “She’s fatter than me; She’s thinner, but I have better hair” and the famous “They still make those pants?” game. I started counting the fatties and skinnies. The fatties far outnumbered the skinnies and for the first time I realized I was not alone. Lake Stevens had a weight problem and I knew that if I was able to tell my story, I might be able to inspire others to get off the couch. That I would finally be accountable to someone other than my husband who loved me at any weight and told me I was beautiful at a size 22. That’s when I approached the Journal and TeamFitness with this idea.

For the past 10 weeks I have been tallying 2 different weight loss totals and after some encouragement from the ladies at the gym, I’ve decided to combine them. This journey for me didn’t start 10 weeks ago, but almost 4 months ago. I started my diet and exercise program while working out the details with the Lake Stevens Journal and TeamFitness.

As of today’s weigh in I have officially lost 30 pounds total. I have lost 2 pants sizes and three shirt sizes. I just bought the cutest pair of “Seven” jeans in a size 18! The sweater I am wearing is a size XXL, not a 2X or 3X but a size found on the racks the skinnies shop at! I have run a 5K and am doing the IronGirl on September 12th. My life is changing…slower than I would like…but I am winning the battle! I only lost a pound this week and I was disappointed. My co-worker used the analogy of a ball bouncing down a flight of stairs. Some weeks I bounce up high, sometimes low, but I am continuing to bounce down that flight of stairs.

This week I met Roenah. She read my article and found me on Facebook. She discovered I worked at Boeing and contacted me with an email. We are now buddies and work out everyday together at TeamFitness. If you’re a fatty you understand the loneliness associated with your weight. You stop going out with friends because you can’t find anything to wear, you hate being the biggest girl in the group, and God forbid someone see you eating in public! Roenah has lost 46 pounds and she is an inspiration. We instant message each other several times a day and discuss our breakfast, snacks and general mood disorders. Today we completed the 5K loop on the treadmill together and the time flew by. Having a buddy to work out with has made all the difference. She forced me on the treadmill even though I swore I would never get back on that dangerous machine after I sprained my ankle in Week 3. I also met Angie, Sarah and Jen in the Ab Lab. These three skinnies are not only beautiful, but my biggest cheerleaders.

I think it’s ironic that I am making friends at the one place I feared the most. To all of you feeling sorry for yourselves because you’re a fatty, hiding in your house because you think the skinnies will judge you, or make fun of you, or revel in the weight you put on since high school- just stop it. Get up, join a gym, and face those fears. The lonelier you are the more you eat. It’s simple math!

My Stats for the week:

Starting weight: 254 pounds
Previous weight: 225 pounds
Current weight: 224 pounds
Current Weight Loss: -1 pounds
Total weight loss: 30 pounds

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