Friday, May 7, 2010

This Is Why Some Animals Eat Their Young!!!

It’s Friday and holy cow what a crazy week! I am currently wrapped up in my super fuzzy red Snuggie I received as a gag gift. Don’t knock the Snuggie till you’ve tried one. Given the options of “AS Seen on TV” gifts I could have received, I am grateful I did not receive the obscene Shake Weight or another Magic Bullet blender.

Today was filled with melt-downs. It started at 8:00 am with a hysterical phone call from my 7 year-old because he forgot the special flowers we bought his teacher last night in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week. He spent 30 minutes printing “You’re the best teacher ever!” on the tiny little card then struggled to get the card between the prongs so he could stick it in the flower pot. I had to call in a favor from a neighbor to deliver the flowers to The Boys and Girls Club so my son could proudly present the flowers to his teacher.
Crisis solved.

I had a few free moments before a meeting and decided to open the mail I have been carrying around in my purse for a week. I started with my Verizon Wireless bill and had a mini stroke at my desk. No Lie…$604.32!!! HOLY GAWD! Here’s a little tip from me to you…free of charge. When you order a replacement phone and they ship it to you in that little box, they are dead serious about wanting the old phone back. I tasked my usually responsible 15 year old daughter with placing her old phone in a box, putting the label on it, and dropping it off at Post-Net. Surprise…She forgot.
After begging and pleading and escalating the call to a manager, I received special authorization to return the phone late. I will be handling this return personally.
Crisis Solved

Not an hour later I received a phone call from JRA (Juvie Prison) that my son was hysterical and they were wondering if I could talk him down. Sure…I excused myself from my cubicle and went out in the hallway where I used the Mom Soft Tone to get him breathing normally again. Apparently some of the gang members in prison had pushed him just a bit too far and he snapped. He went ballistic on the two other boys and now my son is in solitary for 24 hours. We talked about using communication skills and bullies and how to avoid them, but honestly I am glad he finally stood up to the boys. He is suffering the consequences of his actions, but hopefully the other boys in the unit will think twice before messing with Joe Joe for fear they will release his “crazy”.
Crises Solved

After coming home I spoke sternly to my loving daughter about the cost of “OMG Mom I forgot about the phone…you got it fixed, what’s the big deal?” I am convinced she had lost her mind…she obviously forgot who she was talking to. Our little discussion turned into a full fledge mom/ daughter showdown. I ended the conversation telling her that she needed to retreat to her room immediately. I told her I was protecting her from my inner bitch...that normally I keep my inner bitch locked up tight. My daughter tried to release her inner bitch on me and I warned her that her inner bitch was no match for mine and she better run because I was about to let my inner bitch fly! She ran.
She is lucky I love her so much, because I’m not sure I would have stayed so calm if any one else spoke to me the way she did.  

Earlier my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him I wanted to be alone in my house with a pot of coffee and a good movie for no less than 4 hours. He looked puzzled and asked “Don’t you want to spend the day with the kids?”
I replied with “Um…no…I spend 364 days a year with them…I’m taking the day off!”

Question: Do any other mom’s feel this way or is it just me?


Anonymous said...

Get em tiger !!that's why you rock !

Anonymous said...

That was an incredible glimpse into your day! The way you dealt with everything was great! I love your writing! Thank you!

Vince said...

Well I hope after that seemingly boring day you had,lol, you had a great Mother's day!

Anonymous said...

sounds like a perfect night to pound out the frustrations at the gym...