November 15, 2010 - Sitting Still





I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been a crazy couple of days. Been working 14-16 hour days and I feel like a zombie! On the plus side I have mastered the Autobahn. I own that road and actually got to 100MPH! My Mercedes and I have bonded. It’s an amazing feeling driving a luxury vehicle. Don’t get me wrong, I love my 4 cylinder Kia Sportage and all…but the heated leather seats are like soft chocolate pillows, the leather wrapped steering wheel begs to be gripped and push button controls are like running your fingers across the keys of a beautiful piano. I LOVE THIS CAR!

Today I had a couple of hours to just tour the little town I am in. I am staying at the Schloss Hotel and I love the hotel manager. Her name is Sabina and she knows everyone and literally everything about this town. She sent me to MoMo’s today. She said tell them Sabina sent you and they will take care of you. I walked in and I think they could smell the United States on me and asked if they could help me? I let them know who had sent me and suddenly this tiny woman dressed in sequins and fur grabbed my arm and led me all around the little shop. She shared the history of the building, how old the staircase was and the sorted history back in the mid-1800’s when this beautiful building was used as a brothel. I felt as if I had instantly made a friend. After the tour I purchased some beautiful homemade oatmeal soap. As I was walking out MoMo came around the counter and gave me a hug and told me to come and see her again. I couldn’t help leaving with a smile.

I had an epiphany today and that is what I am most compelled to write about.

Herborn is getting ready for Advent which starts on November 28th. The Christmas decorations are being hung slowly, but everyday it looks more and more festive. The town center gets converted to a winter wonderland at Christmas and today was the official tree standing. This town maybe has a population of 2,000 people and the Rockefeller Center size tree was proudly placed in the middle of the town square. It was mid day on a Monday, however the crowds that gathered looked more like what you would expect on a Sunday afternoon. There were children and parents, elderly and newborns. The shops closed up and everyone came outside to stand around the tree as the workers were erecting the stand. I found the only open café, ordered a dark chocolate latte (Yes, it was as delicious as it sounds) and just watched. Men were arm and arm with other men and ladies were doing the same. At that moment the church bells rang in the background as the clock struck noon. I am at a loss for words, which is rare, on how to describe the scene. All of my senses were being stimulated at once. The taste of fine chocolate, the sound of German voices and church bells, the smell of fresh cut pine, the coolness of the air on my skin and being surrounded by the beautiful architecture that was hundreds of years old. It felt as if I was in the scene of a movie…

As suddenly as the crowd had gathered it began to dwindle. The Christmas tree was erect and people went on with their lives. I still had half a latte and I am ashamed to admit my first thought was to go back inside the café and ask for a to-go cup so I could continue on with my adventure. I decided I would fight the urge to become busy and just sit with myself. I don’t do that enough. Between the kids and sports and husband and work, I never…I mean ever…just sit. I had a really difficult time. I felt like I was wasting these precious moments I had away from work by just sitting and doing nothing. Then I started to wonder why. Why do I always feel like I have to be doing something? Why do I feel like relaxation is for the weak? I forced my self to sit and finish my coffee. I smiled at the people walking by while I was having this internal conflict. I had many thoughts today…none of which I am willing to share here…but I ended up having another latte, another smoke and I successfully wasted a full hour just watching people. As I got up I vowed to myself I would do this more often…I really enjoyed getting to know me again…