November 15, 2010 - Sitting Still





I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been a crazy couple of days. Been working 14-16 hour days and I feel like a zombie! On the plus side I have mastered the Autobahn. I own that road and actually got to 100MPH! My Mercedes and I have bonded. It’s an amazing feeling driving a luxury vehicle. Don’t get me wrong, I love my 4 cylinder Kia Sportage and all…but the heated leather seats are like soft chocolate pillows, the leather wrapped steering wheel begs to be gripped and push button controls are like running your fingers across the keys of a beautiful piano. I LOVE THIS CAR!

Today I had a couple of hours to just tour the little town I am in. I am staying at the Schloss Hotel and I love the hotel manager. Her name is Sabina and she knows everyone and literally everything about this town. She sent me to MoMo’s today. She said tell them Sabina sent you and they will take care of you. I walked in and I think they could smell the United States on me and asked if they could help me? I let them know who had sent me and suddenly this tiny woman dressed in sequins and fur grabbed my arm and led me all around the little shop. She shared the history of the building, how old the staircase was and the sorted history back in the mid-1800’s when this beautiful building was used as a brothel. I felt as if I had instantly made a friend. After the tour I purchased some beautiful homemade oatmeal soap. As I was walking out MoMo came around the counter and gave me a hug and told me to come and see her again. I couldn’t help leaving with a smile.

I had an epiphany today and that is what I am most compelled to write about.

Herborn is getting ready for Advent which starts on November 28th. The Christmas decorations are being hung slowly, but everyday it looks more and more festive. The town center gets converted to a winter wonderland at Christmas and today was the official tree standing. This town maybe has a population of 2,000 people and the Rockefeller Center size tree was proudly placed in the middle of the town square. It was mid day on a Monday, however the crowds that gathered looked more like what you would expect on a Sunday afternoon. There were children and parents, elderly and newborns. The shops closed up and everyone came outside to stand around the tree as the workers were erecting the stand. I found the only open café, ordered a dark chocolate latte (Yes, it was as delicious as it sounds) and just watched. Men were arm and arm with other men and ladies were doing the same. At that moment the church bells rang in the background as the clock struck noon. I am at a loss for words, which is rare, on how to describe the scene. All of my senses were being stimulated at once. The taste of fine chocolate, the sound of German voices and church bells, the smell of fresh cut pine, the coolness of the air on my skin and being surrounded by the beautiful architecture that was hundreds of years old. It felt as if I was in the scene of a movie…

As suddenly as the crowd had gathered it began to dwindle. The Christmas tree was erect and people went on with their lives. I still had half a latte and I am ashamed to admit my first thought was to go back inside the café and ask for a to-go cup so I could continue on with my adventure. I decided I would fight the urge to become busy and just sit with myself. I don’t do that enough. Between the kids and sports and husband and work, I never…I mean ever…just sit. I had a really difficult time. I felt like I was wasting these precious moments I had away from work by just sitting and doing nothing. Then I started to wonder why. Why do I always feel like I have to be doing something? Why do I feel like relaxation is for the weak? I forced my self to sit and finish my coffee. I smiled at the people walking by while I was having this internal conflict. I had many thoughts today…none of which I am willing to share here…but I ended up having another latte, another smoke and I successfully wasted a full hour just watching people. As I got up I vowed to myself I would do this more often…I really enjoyed getting to know me again…

Nov 11, 2010 The Day I Almost Died!



Ausfahrt means "Exit" in German...hmmmm....



The Autobahn might indeed be the single most terrifying experience of my life. I say this after I spent 13 hours thinking I was going to die a victim of a terrorist attack earlier.

I landed in Frankfurt and made my way through immigration. I went to the baggage claim and found my black suitcases in the “who’s whose” revolving luggage game. I made my way through the Frankfurt maze and spotted the little car emblem. I broke free from the herd and stood in a very long line at National car rental. I picked up the keys to the most beautiful car I have ever seen. It was a brand new, shiny black Mercedes Benz. I somehow managed to contain my urge to sprawl across the hood and embrace this fine piece of machinery. I opened the door and slid into the heated leather seats. I programmed my GPS to my hotel address and put my new best friend into reverse. I drove through the parking garage following the exit signs in English and was feeling pretty confident.

Oh My GAWD! As I turned into traffic it was like I had been teleported into a Nascar race. I was sweating…Shrine Frou (I named my GPS) was giving me instructions seconds before I was to turn here or there. It was a game with her. She knew I was a tourist…she could smell the foreigner on me and was not happy about me defiling her beautiful interior.

For those of you who have not ever had the opportunity to drive in Germany, let me fill you in. The first thing that will make even the most devout Christian woman utter “What the F***!” is that two lane traffic is separated by a white line. Not always solid either…just a white line. Which means you have no idea if you will be driving into oncoming traffic or simply changing lanes. I made it a point to follow whatever slow moving semi-truck I could. I took a wrong turn at one point and Shrine Frou instructed me to make a U-Turn. Um…no…wasn’t going to happen. I drove another 5 min until I found a turnout. I got out of my car…lit a ciggaretee with a shakey hand and stood on the side of the road smoking and crying. Yes..to all those who think I am cold and heartless…I shed some serious tears. I was exhausted, I was lost and I was cold.

God and I got really close on the airplane ride over and I said another prayer. I asked God to help me find the inner strength I knew I had. The words Cowboy up popped in my head and I decided I was either going to get back in the car, or the German officials would have to scrape my cold dead body off of the Mercedes. I got back in and drove…and drove. I pushed the fear out and did it. 2 hours later I found my hotel. It was 10:00 in the morning and the very nice woman at the hotel registration desk informed me they didn’t have any rooms available.

I was sure she didn’t know I had a reservation so I pulled out my reservation and politely showed her. She said “Oh…yes…check-in time is 3:00pm.

People…I was broken at this point. I cried again…I was muttering about my day and this poor German woman looked very confused. I looked like hell and I was on the verge of hysterical. She picked up a phone called her manager and he came over as I was saying “Of course I can’t check in…why would I have a room???” He asked me to wait 20 min and he had housekeeping clean a room in record time. I smiled and said thank you repeatedly.

I walked in and saw two twin mattresses on the floor, I laid down and slept for 6 hours…in my clothes and shoes.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome I just know it! :)

November 10, 2010 The Flight to Germany!

I was all packed and ready last night. I literally set three alarms to wake me up at 3:00am this morning. I got ready in record time just as the taxi called to let me know he was out front. I drug my giant suitcases down the flight of stairs and met my driver. We shall call him Rajid. Rajid didn’t speak a word of English and if he did he was keeping it secret. I asked him if he took credit card and made a little square with my fingers then the swiping motion to indicate what I was asking. He shook his head no. Well, I sure as hell was not going to pay for this out of my pocket (this is a Boeing sponsored trip after all) and asked him to drive me to bank in downtown Lake Stevens so I could pull out cash. Rajid navigated his way to the bank and I inserted my card. No luck. No cash…no nothing. I immediately called the credit card company and was informed that Boeing did not authorize cash withdrawals for my trip. I then called the Boeing help desk and explained I needed access to cash and got that taken care of on the way to the airport. I then called the taxi cab office and asked how they could make this right since I specifically requested a cab that took credit cards. They charged my card over the phone, but not before we haggled about the charged price vs. the quoted price.

I arrived at SeaTac and moved swiftly through the line. I found my gate and all was easy. That should have been a warning for me since nothing should be that easy during international travel. I boarded my super amazing business class seat and pulled out my Ipod and book. That’s when it began. The Total Panic…and I was not alone.

The gentleman who took the seat next to me was from the Middle East somewhere by his attire. No problem. I will admit I was a tiny bit apprehensive but my rational brain took over and I decided I was being silly. This is a man who belongs to a very peaceful religion and I refused to give into the stereotypical reaction we American’s have to a Muslim on a plane.

I smiled at him and said good morning. He just looked at me as if I had insulted his mother. Ok…I thought…this is better I guess than sharing a 13 hour flight with a beef salesman from Iowa! I’d take the silence over cattle talk any day!

Let’s name this man Manmeat (a reference to the insanely funny NBC show Outsourced)

Manmeat took out a little velvet bag and I of course was watching with much interest. He pulled out a small book with golden Arabic looking letters, a veil, and what looked like a headlamp. He assembled his gear and began to bow and pray at his seat. He was reading out loud, bowing and praying. He had three feet of leather cord and was wrapping his forarms over and over again. OMG! I tried to remain calm. I didn’t want to think the worst. I know that Muslims pray a lot, just never had someone pray and bow out loud next to me on an intercontinental flight.

The other passengers began to turn and look. I made eye contact with several passengers and tried to express through facial expressions that I had no idea what was going to happen or what Manmeat was doing. They looked at me like I should have an answer because I was sitting next to him. I just got my big “I don’t know” eyes on and shook my head slightly indicating I was as lost as everyone else. I sure as hell wasn’t about to interrupt his prayers and ask him if he was making peace with his maker and if I should bow my head and do the same.

He put everything except the little book (Koran?) away after he was finished and pulled out his IPad. He was browsing through pictures of his family and still muttering to himself. That’s it I thought…we are all going to die today. I had no way of writing my husband and children as I was 30,000 feet in the air. He got up and went to the restroom and was gone for quite some time. I refused to make eye contact with the passengers around me as that was just adding to my irrational fear that was taking over. He came back to his seat, buckled in…which at that point I figured was just overkill given the fact that we were all going to die in a giant orange explosion in the sky.

Manmeat must have went to the restroom 12 different times and each time I imagined that was when he was pulling the pin or pushing the button or detonating what ever device he had in the green velvet bag.

I did not sleep. I have never been more awake in my life.

Now as you know…I am here writing about my imagined terrorist attack and not so near death experience and I feel rather stupid for even thinking the worst about this man. But COME ON!!! REALLY??? Was that really the best time to pull out the Koran and pray and bow?

I never thought of myself as intolerant of religions. I guess I am just a typical American who remembers the events of September 11 as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

By the way…this is actually how retarded I am. After describing the airplane ride from hell to a friend, my friend informed me that this is a Jewish prayer and the man was praying to God…the same God I was praying to the entire flight. The little gold book was a Bible. I really need a little more education on the various religions in the world.

Fat Fall Off Nov 08, 2010

I am trying to keep this blog to diet and fitness and trying to keep my personal life out of this, but as many of you know, that’s tough thing to do when diet and fitness is so closely tied to emotions. I went over to my parents today for a family dinner and I tell you…Family is a true test for any binge eater. I am the biggest one in my family and have been for years. I was the butt of many diet jokes today. Oh they didn’t mean anything by it…I was told. They were calling this the diet of the month and were teasing me for the whole gluten free thing. I have to admit I was irritated. I laughed it off of course, but it hurts. I don’t think our relatives understand how much it affects us when they mock our efforts to lose weight. I got through the dinner and picked at what I could eat. My hubby said all the comfort words and I considered the source. I should have worked out today and that just added to my failure feelings. This is where I would have come home in the past and cleaned out the cupboards. No emotional binge eating for me today, so I guess that’s a win!


Tomorrow is a new day…

Today’s food:

Breakfast: No breakfast, I slept in! Its Sunday.

Lunch: Had a late breakfast…just the Detox shake today

Snack: apple and almond butter

Dinner: Halibut steak brushed with oilive oil and steamed broccoli

Fat Fall Off Nov 03, 2010

I never want to hear another excuse about working out again! I missed my training session yesterday so Cheri and Mike let me switch classes and come tonight instead. I was in class with two sisters that were grandmothers. Mike modified the workouts a bit for these two ladies and I must tell you, I was impressed. It sure made me feel like a whiner when I was making my “OH MY GOD This Burns” face and they were doing the same thing. We were all sweating and making faces at each other. Mike said he was kidding when he said we were going to work out tonight until someone threw up…but I think he was secretly trying to make me hurl. I worked my butt off tonight! Working out in a group really is motivating! There is a certain level of not wanting to be the weakest link that makes you keep going 20 more seconds.


The sprints in the gym tonight almost did me in, but there was no way I was going to be outdone by two silver haired grandmothers….plus these lovely ladies were cheering for me. I was forced to give it my all! I left the gym tonight feeling like I had given 100% effort. I am turning out the lights now as I am exhausted. Since I have been working out, I have not needed my Ambian to fall asleep. I am too tired at night to stay up worrying about the next day. I never thought I could sleep without Ambian…

I think in the next couple of days I am going to write a top-10 list of the changes I am seeing in my health. It’s time to recognize more than weight loss…but not right now 



Today’s food:

Breakfast: Detox shake

Snack: pear

Lunch: Take out brown rice sushi with carrots and avocado, and a large green tea

Snack: Bag of Mary’s crackers

Dinner: Ground turkey burgers topped with the Amazing Salad ( I wrote about this simple salad a few days ago

Dessert: coconut ice cream during Grey’s Anatomy

My Fitness:

See Above